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This story is inspired by this portrait or Heechul in
Magolpy's MV that I watched back in early 2007 :D |
I am half-awake. It
is almost eight o'clock from what I can
tell, but Gosh, I am too lazy to open my eyes until a nurse comes into my room
and pulls open the curtains. The sunshine blinds my already-closed eyes and
forces me to wake up defiantly.
"Good morning,
Ms. Sherman. How are you feeling?” she asks while examining me. Her name is
Stella, a young strawberry-blonde
nurse who always looks timid around me. Well, maybe she feels intimidated
because I am the only daughter of the head chief of this hospital. I don't
know.
"Good." I
pluck the damn needle out of my vein and jump down from the bed, "I just
need some fresh air." Her blue eyes are begging me to stay so I won't
cause any problem for her. "I will tell father that it is my call." I
walk to the door and turn my head right before I step out of the room,
"and you can do me a courtesy of making a medical certificate saying that
I won't be going for classes in a week." I walk out of the room.
***
I decide to take a
walk around the hospital yard, just to escape the hell out of that
boring-to-death room. It is such
a beautiful Sunday morning, just that I woke up at the wrong place. I should be
at home getting ready for my contemporary dance practice. But the fatigue has
gotten me at last. My mother insists that I stop dancing and focus on
my doctoral study instead. She wants me to be like my father, but I
just want to be more like me.
Tired of walking, I
sit on an empty bench under the tree, closing my eyes, just enjoying the sun, the wind, and the silence. To my surprise, I
hear an instrumental sound not far from where I sit. I open my eyes and look
around. I see some children, a couple of elderly on their wheelchairs, and a
man in suit playing his violin under a
tree not far from mine. The song is so intense. There is a lot of emotion in it
that I cannot quite tell. I close my eyes and imagining myself dancing to it.
It is full of passion. So sad. So dramatic. So…..alive.
I am so drawn into my imagination
that I don't realize the music has stopped. I open my eyes and scan through my
surrounding. There is no trace of him.
***
The next day, I find
myself walking to the bench again and thank
God that he is there. It is the same song as yesterday. I quickly sit
and close my eyes, try to memorize the dance moves that I can make out of this
song. But then again, he is gone while I open my eyes. This is weird.
***
The third day, I get
there earlier, but he is already there, not yet playing the song. He glances at
me, and I don't know but why he looks a little bit surprise. I close my eyes waiting, a little bit excited to rewind all the moves
that I manage to memorize yesterday. "I should ask him for the title of
this song once he finishes," I thought to myself. He is finally
reaching the end of the song, the climax. I danced passionately in my
imagination. Then I struck, but he has disappeared. "Tomorrow," I got
up "tomorrow I won't close my eyes." This is getting annoying!
***
The fourth day, I come
a bit late, been having a stomachache since dawn. I am sitting on a beach closer
to him. He hasn't play his jam yet, probably waiting for his loyal listener -
me. Today he pulls his black hair up, leaving just the side fringe down. He
looks so...artistic. I keep my eyes open, watching him finally engrossed in his
own play. "Ms. Sherman!!" I hear Stella screaming from afar. She is
out of breath, probably has been running
around to find me. I go after her, do not want her to disturb the performance.
"Someone named Mr. Koon is waiting for you. He said that it's very urgent."
She suddenly grabs my hand and drags me. I battle, but damn she has a lot of
strength stored in that tiny body. “And your father just called to check on
you. You are 30 minutes late to take your medicine, and I’m not backing off
today.” Shoot!
"Estelle!"
Mr. Koon looks very excited to see me. It's weird because I never saw him showing
any kind of emotion, including smiling. Well, unless while he’s dancing, he becomes a whole different person. "Remember
the contemporary dance audition I told you last time?" he grabs my
shoulder "I sent your practice video, and you are accepted!!" He
shakes my body excitedly. Oh my God! It is my dream to perform in that show. I
know that if I win, I’ll gain my parents’ acknowledgement and they will finally
let me do what I love the most. To my excitement, I blurt out about the violin
guy, and my A-plan to use his song for my performance. I’m just so sure that
I’ll nail it.
***
The fifth day, I sit
on a bench right in front of him, waiting him to finish. It is strange because
it seems only me that is enjoying the performances. Those kids and elderly clearly
do not understand about art. Poor them.
"Hey!" I
jump out of the bench nervously right after he finishes the song, "I am
Estelle Sherman. Do you mind telling me where I can get the song that you just
played?"
He just stares at me in disbelief.
“Why? Well, can you PLEASE at least tell me what
the title of the song is?” I beg him a bit.
“It’s secret” He
answers shortly and starts packing his stuffs in hurry.
I am dumbfounded, in
a major disbelief on how unfriendly this guy can be. “So, here’s the thing…” I
try to press my annoyance as he keeps ignoring me “I am a dancer and there is
this really important competition coming up. Well, maybe you don’t have any
idea on how important this is for me or maybe you just
don’t care, but I really need…”
“It Secret” he cuts
off my talk, looking straight to my eyes as he finishes up his packing. Some parts of my words earlier definitely caught
him. “The title is Secret.” I can see him smiling inside through his
eyes.
“Oh” I blush “Then,
would you mind telling me who is the composer? Just so I can get the right
song.”
“Arthur Hirsch.” Now
he does smile “but you won’t find it anywhere. It’s not yet published.”
It takes me about 7
seconds to go straight from a deep confusion to an extreme awe. “Are you Arthur?”
“Nice to meet you,
Estelle” He smiles, showing off this white teeth. And
it takes less than a minute for him to go straight from a super
annoying stranger to this charming mysterious man.
My heart skips a
beat. My body freezes, but my eyes are exploring his pale face. I can see some
fading scars on his face. Not from acne or break-out, but more like incisions
from sharp objects, like glass shards. Haven’t I come back from heaven, a soft
voice from a sick young boy suddenly surprised me “what are you looking at?”
A little bit pissed
because he disturbs my moment, I ask him back “what are YOU looking at?”
“Why are you talking
to yourself?” He wonders.
I wonder back. I am just about to point at Arthur, but then I
realize that he is gone. Like a wind. Leave me looking like some kind of
patient from a mental hospital.
***
The sixth day, I find
out that walking to the bench has become a habit of mine. I really can’t wait
to see him today. I have been thinking about him since yesterday, I even saw him in my dream; sitting beside my bed,
watching me sleeping.
Finally I arrive at
our secret rendezvous, excitedly, but he is nowhere to be found. I wait and
wait until the sun reaches its peak and wait again until it nearly sets. Stella
has to come and drag me back for the second time because I haven’t had anything
since morning. I am so disappointed, confused, and worried.
I am lying on my
bed, dazing at my terrace. I don’t know since when it becomes so seductive. I
go there, just to clear up my mind. The view from this 15th floor is
so beautiful, why haven’t I just once come to this terrace during my stay in
this hospital? Satisfied looking at the sunset, I throw
my vision to the park nearby. People are getting ready to get back in as the
darkness approaches; except for this familiar figure who just standing beside
the swing, waving at me. It’s my violin guy! I ran towards him.
“Why didn't you come this morning?” I ask
“I am sorry” He looks sad “my family visited me today.
They haven’t visited me for quite some time.”
“How long have you been here?” I am curious “And why
are you even here in the first place?”
He doesn't answer my question. Instead, he talks about
other things, many other things. About his childhood, about his stubbornness,
about his dream, about Secret. I always know that we both have a connection,
but never expected that it would be our dream. He is just like me, trying to
prove to our parents that our dreams are worth living for.
“You will, you know” I assure him “be a great violist”
He smile bitterly, “Maybe I would, but I couldn't”
“What do you mean?” I am confused “don’t give up on
your dream just because anyone else does not support you” My tone raises.
“It’s really great to finally meet you, Estelle” He
smiles “you should win the competition then; for the sake of both of us” He
walks back to the building.
I run after him. “Why do I feel like a goodbye right
here?” The thought suddenly makes me very sad “Are you leaving? Have you
recharged from this hospital? Is there any way we can still keep in touch?”
He just smiles, ignoring my questions attack “I’ll pay
you a visit tomorrow. Now have some good sleep, Estelle.” He stops at 13th
floor. I just stand there looking at his back before the elevator doors close
down.
***
“Estelle” a familiar voice wakes me up, “Come on, it’s
already ten o’clock. We’re leaving after you have your breakfast. Have you been
studying for your test?”
“Mom?” Suddenly I realize that this is my last day
here “Was there anyone coming when I was sleeping?”
“No. Why?” She looks curious, but that doesn't stop
her for packing my clothes up.
I quickly go to the 13th floor, hoping that
Arthur hasn't left yet. I force Stella to find out in which room he is staying
and start running there. Stella is chasing me, trying to prevent me to get in
the room. “What’s the big deal, Stella?” I am annoyed.
To my surprise, there are lots of people in that room.
Everyone looks so sad, some are even crying. A lady beside the bed whom I
assume to be Mrs. Hirsch can’t even stand on her own feet because she is so
weak from all her crying. I step inside the room and there he is, sleeping on
the bed peacefully in spite of all the screaming and crying. I just stand
there, not knowing what to do. Then Stella pulls me out.
“You can’t get in there, Miss” She holds both of my
hands which have turned pale and cold “You are not supposed to interfere,
unless you are a relative which I am sure that you are not.”
I whisper “what happened to him?”
"He had a fatal car crash six months ago. Ever since, he has been in comma, struggling for his life. A couple times the doctor said that he wouldn't
make it, but he miraculously lived yet another night as if he was still meant
to do something. But last night he finally let go, peacefully. Well, I guess
his business is over at last.”
It creeps me out. I go back to my room, shaken. Well,
how can I not?? I talked to him every day for the past six days. I talked to a
spirit for crying out loud!
“Estelle, where did you go?” My mom asks “A guy came
and left you these things. You bought a violin, Estelle? For real?”
“No” I almost lost my voice in fear “what guy, Mom?”
“This tall and skinny guy, dressed in suit. Is
he some kind of ball dance refugee?” She joked around before realizing that her
daughter is in fright “Why? You don’t know this guy? I thought he is a friend
of yours.”
I reach for the envelope on top of the violin case and
open it. There is a CD and a note saying: The
Secret is yours. I believe in you, Estelle. Good luck. -Arthur Hirsch I
become so overwhelmed. The fright was nonsense. He was once a friend, physically
or spiritually, and now I might have lost him forever. The sadness suddenly clouded me,
and I can’t hold my tears anymore.
“Estelle? What’s going on? Do you want me to return it
to him, or just throw it away?” My Mom starts to worry.
“It’s okay, Mom” I smile behind my tears “It’s a gift”
***
Couple months have passed and everything is going
really well. Even though Arthur is gone, but
his masterpiece lives on. The Secret has gone viral and people start to wonder about Arthur Hirsch. However, what people know of him
is only as far as the Secret goes. As in for our little secret, it will stay hidden.
Sometimes, I would hear the sound of his violin in the middle of night from where I keep it, and I know that he is there. I am just waiting for the time when he would finally come to me. Then we will talk until the dawn.
